Woe is me

I just had a re-assessment done at the gym. My last one was in January this year, and while there has been some notable improvement in my stability and strength, my back is still seriously screwed up. I have been suffering from scoliosis for over 10 years now - it's the curvature of the spine, either in an S-shape, or C-shape. Mine is an S-shape, I think, which is the worst kind, and EXTREMELY painful. Throughout the years, my spine has curved more and more towards the left side. Thankfully, most people dont notice it until I point it out to them, and even then, most look at me as if I'm nuts, but maybe they are just been polite?

Due to this curvature, my back pain ebbs and flows. Sometimes it gets so unbearable that I cannot walk. Hence me trying to put it all right at the gym. Unfortunately, I have to continue with my exercises, religiously, for the rest of my life - that's if I want to get rid of this back pain. And it will take years to see just a millimetre of movement in my spine. So chances are, that my back will never correct itself 100%. That's something I now have to live with.

Had I worn a back brace in my teens when this was first spotted, maybe I wouldnt have to go through all this now. But I refused to wear it - have you seen how hideous those braces are? Now I regret it, deeply, but it's a little too late. I must now become best friends with my pilates ball and stretch the hell out of my limbs. Forever, and ever.

I have booked several sessions with my instructor over the next few weeks, and have vowed to never miss another pilates class again. Let's see how long that lasts. I always start out with lots of enthusiasm and commitment, until I get bored again. I need help!!!