The truth about Ferdi

It's time for me to speak out to the nation about something that is very close to my heart (I have a heart, damnit!). I can no longer be silent. You see, over the past few weeks, Ferdi has been spreading nasty rumours about me and Berny. Rumours about us being abusive towards him. At this rate, I am expecting a call from child services. So this cannot go on. The lies stop here. Right now. Time to come clean.

What am I talking about, you ask? Let me go back to a few previous "Fat Eyes" so that I can refresh your memories. Here are a few quotes:

Ferdi (Sexyback Federline Lachey): I have been recently been exposed to various forms of domestic violence and substance abuse over the last few weeks, and whilst M-unit successfully helped Weasel in his substance abuse issues, the domestic violence is still raging on! Now I can’t stress enough how disgusting it is that a person who feels so weak inside that that person feels the need to beat on someone weaker than them! It is wrong and no person should ever do that! I post this with great fear, but it must be done I cannot stay quite anymore ,Berny, Caz stop hitting me!

Lies! I have seen him hitting himself, taking pics of his permanent red cheeks and showing everyone, saying I did the deed.

Ferdi (Lachey): Also in this regard an update on Berny’s abusiveness! So on Saturday she confronted me bout last weeks Fat Eye! She said she don’t have an abusive bone in her body, then right in front of Weasel in the middle on Makro she threatened to punch me if I ever mentioned this again! So for the last time this is Ferdinova Sexyback not lachey reporting for FatNN news!

Again. Lies. An alcoholic like Weasel cannot be trusted as a reliable witness.

Ferdi (Fat-Fed): she (Berny) has now started to use technological advancements to facilitate her abusiveness! The other day she hit me over the phone, see she phoned me and told me there were CHIPS in the kitchen knowing full well that I would climb the wall to get to them and scratch my arm in the process!

Another batch of lies. The idiot fell all on his own. Berny cannot be blamed for this. In fact, if anyone is abusive here, it is Ferdi!! Not only did he throw Berny with a chip (Berny's words, hahaha), he drove into her with his car! If that is not abuse, then I dont know what is!!!

And no matter what he says, I have never laid a finger on him. I have never punched his belly or pinched his boobs. Never. Berny will vouch for me.

Ferdi, you are going to hell for this.