Die Leeuloop en die balles

Randfontein turned out to be more than I expected, and then some. Ja-nee. After a bit of bonding with Princess Marbro, he dropped Berny and me off at Bundus, the local sokkie joint. Before he left us, he said to me “I’m sorry”. I looked at him puzzled, and he explained that he was apologizing in advance for what I was about to experience. He was convinced that I wasn’t going to like this one bit. But I have a remedy for such situations: drink, drink and then drink some more.

It actually turned out to be quite a cool evening, though of course I was a tad worried, especially after Martin’s early apology. Berny and I waited outside for Tanya, so we could put our overnight bags in her car, at which time Berny noticed the security guy and called dibs. She needs to get her eyes checked soon. Then we all went inside. I must say, I expected worse, so the place didn’t look too bad – except for the Dutchie music and well, the Afrikaans people. Haha. Actually, they are not so bad themselves either.

Berny and I dashed to the bar and started off with tequila, as is our tradition now. Then we sat with Tanya and her friends but soon realised that it was more convenient to sit by the bar, cause well, that’s where they keep the booze. Berny’s song then came on so off we went to the dance floor. It was just the girls. And then… and then the guys did the leeuloop…

Oh, man, I wish I hadn’t witnessed this. It was the first time I have ever actually paid attention, and listened to the actual words to the song. The first time the boys pulled their pants down, I literally screamed. There were balls everywhere! Ja nee!!!

It took a jagerbomb, a blowjob (pusstenarbeit, hee hee) and more Smirnoffs then I could count, to get over that ordeal. Until some freaks from Durban started to chat us up, one with no front teeth, and the other with “half a wife” (I wanted to ask him where the other half was, but I was too scared that I was going to become half a Caz here too). The toothless freak bought us some tequila shots accompanied by Worcester sauce. I don’t know what that shooter is called but if someone knows, please would you be so kind as to tell me cause it’s actually rather nice!

After a long and weird conversation, Tanya’s brother rescued us under the pretence of asking us to dance. When we were sure that those freaks weren’t going to bother us anymore, Berny and I attempted a bit of sokkie on the dancefloor. We weren’t that bad actually. I think the alcohol helped our rhythm quite a bit.

We spent most of the rest of the evening dancing. They actually played English music! Wow. So we sokkied, we danced, we um, grinded against some bodies, and at once stage Berny and I did played some weird form of twister when we both landed on the floor. And of course, we also did the raisins dance. A lot.

I sokkied with three different boys that night (the last one was smelly though) and thanks to my practice with the Germans at youth, I think I kind of did alright that evening. Oh, and of course, we phoned Vomit that night from the toilet, since it was the only place we could hear him. And we did not claim our undying love to him and we did not call dibs at all. Nu-uh, we didn’t!

He told me on Saturday when we called him for a post-mortem that I said to him “Matt, why are you pretending to be someone else” Haha, I don’t know why I said that. And when I spoke to his friend Riaan, aka Sexy, I didn’t realise that I was speaking to him and insisted that “I wanted to speak to Sexy”. Loud, of course. Apparently we then got bored speaking to Matt, and started to talk to some chicks in the toilet, but didn’t end the call. We did not hear Matt shouting “helllooooo” wanting our attention.

I was having so much fun that I didn’t even realise that the time had flown by. We left there just after 1am and went to Tanya’s place to sleep over. On the way there, Berny and I phoned each other, even though we were sitting in the same car. Yes, we were trashed. And apparently there is a recording of it. Somewhere. But I am not telling.

Its always good when you end up having a good time, when you least expect it. I cant say that I will be back there soon, but I had fun. Ja-nee.