Friday afternoon, I left work early together with my work team-mates, for our annual weekend away. This time we went to the Arabella Hotel in the Western Cape, about 15 minutes away from Hermanus. I was drunk before we even took off as we sat and drank at McGintys before boarding the plane. I was a bit nervous about the flight, as always, but listening to my Ipod on the way and reading Spud – The Madness Continues, most definitely helped to calm me down. I decided not to drink on the plane as I couldn’t find a barf bag. Lol.
We landed just after 4, and soon we were on our way to the hotel. By then I was sober and feeling rather miserable because half of the team wasn’t joining us this time (remember we split our division at the beginning of the year) and that included my partner in crime, Karen. I had no clue who I was going to party with that night, but since Im a party animal by nature, at the back of my mind I knew it was going to be alright. But the weather didn’t help my mood. It was miserable, but at least not as cold as the Capetonians had warned us about! These bloody Capetonians! Haha.
The drive there was quicker than we thought. We checked in and relaxed in our luxurious rooms before dinner. The hotel was like paradise. I don’t even want to know how much it costs to stay there per night. After a nice long bath, I got ready and joined the others at the bar. I settled with my SoCo and engaged in boring conversation. I was thankful when we were finally called for dinner in one of the conference rooms. Dinner wasn’t anything grand (though at R350 p/head, you’d think it would be) but dessert was to die for. The best was these tiny amarula cakes. Yum!
The DJ then cranked up the tunes and people opened the dancefloor. For the first time ever, it wasn’t me. I wasn’t getting drunk quick enough and the music was not up to my taste. So I sat and sulked. I really wished Karen was there. Eventually some dude dragged me to the dancefloor. So I downed my drink and ordered another one. The quicker I got drunk the sooner I was going to enjoy this. Eventually I was trashed and even let some of the boys twirl me around, yes, I did the langarm.
I don’t remember much else, except that I had a heart-to-heart with my boss (I must not go near him when Im drunk), chatted with a guy whose wife is also Argentinean, headbanged to AC/DC and Bon Jovi (hee hee), and drank two Jagerbombs in a row which sealed my fate. I ended up falling asleep on the grass outside near the lake, and waking up at 3am when it started to rain. I went back to my room and had to wake my friend up cause my card wouldn’t work. I fell asleep immediately in my glorious bed.
And it felt like I woke up 5 minutes later, at 7am. I ignored my alarm and went back to sleep. At 8 I forced myself to get up, shower and head down to breakfast. I was aching all over (why do I have to dance so much?) and struggled to eat anything. At 9:30 we were back on the bus and headed to our first wine farm, part of our wine tour. Most of us groaned with the pain, nursing terrible hangovers and injuries. Our tour guide started his commentary as soon as we drove off, and even though he promised he was going to keep quite for a while (we all cheered), 2 minutes later he was back on the microphone (groan). But soon he had us in stitches – not intentionally though. As we were approaching the wine farm, he told us all to “sit down because we were now entering a gravel road and its quite steep”. Nobody was standing up – no one had even thought of standing up. Did he think we were 12 year olds? Lol.
He then told us about the swans in that wine farm. He said we should tell him if we are going to go look for swans (?? More laughter). Someone offered R100 to the first lucky bugger that spotted one. In the end, turns out there weren’t any swans left. The otters got them.
This dude should do stand up comedy.
We sampled some red and white wine, got blown away by strong winds and then got back on the bus and headed off to a wine farm in Hermanus. Don’t ask me what all these wine farms and wines were called, because I cannot remember, and don’t really care. Just give me wine and I will sample it. Though I am not a big fan of red wine. Merlot gives me headaches.
We were done early, so we toured a bit of Hermanus and listened to some boring history lessons from our guide. Apparently Hermanus has a railway station, but no railway lines, because Mr Hoi did not want the “peasants” to ruin the town. I cant believe I paid attention to all this. Hahaha. Since the party that night was to include karaoke (which I was going to miss, thank god) one of the ladies started singing “The Hills are alive” (with the sound of music). Us peeps in the back of the bus joined her. We were so out of tune, it was beautiful.
Lunch was at the Hornbull, which was very nice, I must say. We had a set menu and I opted for some vegetable curry with cous-cous and coconut (luckily I couldn’t taste the coconut). We had more wine (groan) and a delicious dessert of chocolate wafers with cream (me – minus the cream, ugh). Lunch dragged as most of us were about to doze off. I was thankful when finally it was time to go and fell asleep for a little while on the short drive back to the hotel.
I had to hurry because I had about 15 minutes to pack my bags and rush down to the spa for my facial. The facial was so relaxing and I dozed off when the therapist put a mask on my face and left me alone for about 10 minutes. After we were done, I was really sleepy and went to the change rooms to put my clothes back on. I was shocked to find one of the guys in there and looked at him in a confused, sleepy daze. He told me I must be in the wrong place so I gave him another puzzled look and walked out. Just then it hit me that I had walked into the men’s changerooms!!!! I blushed furiously and rushed into the ladies’ changerooms before anyone else noticed. Thank god he had been fully clothed!!!
I ran back to my room, finished packing, and went to watch the rugby. I couldn’t find any of the guys at the bar – they weren’t even showing the rugby! Some old farts were watching the tennis!!! So I phoned one of the guys and went to his room and watched it there while my friend napped in our room. But before the game ended, Tink and Chim arrived to pick me up so I left and went to meet them. They helped me with my bags and as I was checking out, I saw the barman looking at me with a worried look on his face. Yes, he was losing one of his biggest customers.
The drive to Cape Town was nice and short, and I was surprisingly awake and chatty. It was so nice to catch up with the girls. As soon as we arrived, we decided to cure one of our cravings: we had waffles at Milky Lane!! Now all we needed was lasagne! Lol. With our tummies full, we dropped off all our stuff at Tink’s sisters place then joined Mr Cloudgazer at News Café in Canal Walk for cocktails. I didn’t enjoy my first one, a very milky Screaming Orgasm. Chim spilt her daiquiri (sacrilege) but it was topped up by the kind barmen. I handed my orgasm to Tink (that sounds disturbing) and ordered some Gigglejuice which soon had me giggling like a 12 year old. Tequila soon followed, naturally.
It was then time for some drunken phone calls and the lucky recipients were Berny, Vomit and Inki. I cannot be held responsible for any information I divulged, as I cannot remember. The more we drank, the more we giggled and the more crazy the conversations got. I just wish I had kept quite about my “favourite song”.
We waited until Misses finally gave us the call so we could head off to her place for more cocktails. We made a pit stop at McDonalds (chips craving sorted) and arrived all drunk and disorderly at the Walshes and met up with the rest of the Cape Town JNFers. Misses made us a killer Chocolate Martini and I was proud to have eventually finished it. Little Misses aka Emily was still awake and loved to pose for pics. She is so adorable!
After some pics and more giggles, we were kicked out and went our separate ways. I stayed with Tink at her sister’s place and we were up till the early hours of the morning talking. Eventually I couldn’t keep my eyes open and went to sleep. The few hours that I got weren’t enough but I got up anyway. After a shower I was a bit more awake. I packed my bags nicely and then we headed off to Primi at Canal Walk for some brunch. We walked around the centre until it was time to go to the airport. I was worried about what my boss and co would say about me sneaking off the day before and wondered if I still had a job!!!
On the way to the airport I cringed at how slow most of the Capetonians drove!! It drove me nuts! Once we arrived, I was relieved that my crowd hadn’t arrived yet. I phoned my friend to find out what was happening and she said my boss kept on asking where I was. She told him I had an early night and slept till late. He didn’t click that I wasn’t with them most of Sunday.
Finally they all arrived and I stepped in and joined them at the check out counter as if I had been there all the time with them. Some had to ask me, very loudly, where I had been, but my boss was still none the wiser, or at least, he pretended to be so. I then said my goodbyes to Tink and entered the gates with the rest of the gang.
We flew in a large, almost new airbus and I soon dozed off. My aches were getting worse and I struggled to keep my eyes open. We eventually touched down in Joburg just after 5 and were bussed to the airport to collect our luggage. The bus was full of Americans who just wouldn’t shut up. I cant stand the nasal American drone. These bloody Yankees!
Waiting for our luggage took forever, and I could see Weasel waiting impatiently outside with arms folded. It was almost 7 when I got home. All I had energy for was unpacking my bags. I did that in record time and was in bed by 8. Bliss. Aaah.
But why do I still feel hangover, exhausted and sore today? : (
2 comments:
hehe i loved the drunken phone call!
I have loads on you now, mwahahahaha!!!!!!
I should have recorded the on i received. I didnt even understand half of the stuff you guys were trying to tell me
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