Lets set the record straight

It seems that, by reading my blogs, some people are getting the wrong impression as to what sort of a person I am these days. So let me give you all a crash course on who I am, right now. But before I do that, let me tell you about the person I used to be, back in high school. I was very shy, listened to pop music *cringe*, and worked very hard in school to get top grades. So you could say I was a conscientous, responsible child with her head screwed on straight.

So what changed? Not much really. I still work hard, but I also party hard. As soon as I began varsity, I slowly came out of my shell and started to party quite a bit, yet my studies never faltered. In fact, I did better than I did in high school. I just wasnt the shy girl I used to be anymore. Soon I got my degree and started to work almost immediately at a bank.

This set up a whole lot of new challenges for me, that I took head on, and in the six years that I have been working there, I managed to secure a business analyst job at one of the more prestigious divisions of the bank, together with some nice perks. Cushy job, that allows me a lot of freedom to do what I want to do when I am not busy, which happens a lot lately, and so sometimes I get distracted with other things like the internet. But I am not so silly that I will let myself get caught up in it and lose my job as a consequence. I need this job, as much as I hate it sometimes, so I am not going to do anything to jeopardise it. And yes, I did one stupid blunder a few weeks ago at our work weekend away, but I learnt my lesson immediately and I was forgiven just as quick. I wont make the same mistake again, Im not stupid.

However, I dont plan to stay in banking forever. Even my boss, of all people (!!) encouraged me to follow my dreams while Im still young, and leave if I have to! I told him that I always wanted to become a journalist / photographer, and he suggested I work towards it! My boss understands me, and we have a great working relationship. He has always given me great reviews, and when he kakked me out for the very first time a few weeks ago, I felt so bad that I had upset him, because I enjoy having him as a boss. I dont take him for granted. He is probably one of the main reasons why Im still here in this job.

Now we come to the crux of the matter: drinking. Sorry to say, but this forms a big part of my life. My parents introduced me to alcohol from a young age, and have never really had issues with me drinking. We have a lot of social gatherings at work, where drinking is involved and dammit, we even drink at church! This year Im even organising the annual beerfest at the church!

But there is one thing that many need to understand: I am not an alcoholic loser. I realise that 90% of my blogs these days are about me getting vrot at a gig / party because frankly, I dont have the time or energy to write about the other aspects of my life or any other interests I might have. But maybe I should.

If I was really into heavy drinking, I would be drinking every day. I should be hungover right now. But Im not. Weeks may go by before I even touch a drink. And occassionally, I can actually party without even bothering to drink. I dont need to drink to have a good time. I just enjoy drinking - is that really bad? I dont drive (and believe me, when I do start to drive, thats going to stop), I dont hurt anyone with my drinking (except maybe my liver, lol).

As Im reading back what I have just written, I am thinking to myself: "why am I even bothering?" My real friends know me, they know Im not a danger to myself and that I still have lots of ambitions that I am working towards. And they are not losers themselves either. They are all hardworking, honest people who will stick by me through thick and thin. So why am I trying to defend my actions here? To be honest, I have no clue. Im tempted to delete this all and just shout a big "Screw this". But I will leave it. Read it, rip it to shreds, do what you like. Im comfortable with my life and am happy with the friends who believe in me and trust me not to go and screw things up.

In the words of Joy's mother from My Name is Earl (Berny will get this one, lol):

Dont you judge me.