Fat Eye for the Sports Fan: Edition One Volume One

I know I promised to do add this yesterday, but the Fat Eye forgot his article at home. So here it is, ladies and germs, Ferdi's first edition:

O yea Duffman! Vive le Boks, O yea! Ek se waaneer ek gaan by die plaas ons gaan wen, dis waar! And to add to that Man United won the fourth game in a row, O yea!

So likes I said above, me and Cazzy went to Ellis Park to see the Boks play! Now I just had a feeling this was gonna be good, I mean they were selling the beer by the six pack! O yea! And Prime Circle was to be performing later!

So the game started off slowly, with the Aussies feeling each other up at every opportunity! Like gross, get a room! Yous say the good game is bad but these guys were full on squeezing! That’s like an oh no Duffman! But as we all know the Aussies are f'ing losers, so The Fat Eye thought it rather fitting that the trashy Jade sang the Aussie anthem! O yea! And further on that note I must say Die Stem was beautifully sung at the game!

So the crowd, obliviously WP fans, got overly excited they did, and started a good old Barney! “Barney Barney, peanut-butter Sammie!” O yea! Modman (ed: aka Marbro) rates they started fighting to get away from Cazzy’s annoying singing, man that was bad, he rates the cops were even afraid to approach the “affected” area! Cazzy being in disagreement then taped herself singing into the infamous Dictaphone, she now threatens to play it!

So me (ed: always the fool first) and Cazzy on this fine Spring day were full of insightful conversation, we was wondering how is it that of all the Randfonteinors (you gots to say with a dutchy accent, or don’t say it at all!) in the world how is it that we meet the only one that doesn’t kyk vir die Rugby nie? (ed: he is talking about marbro here) Maybe it’s got something to do with the fact that he is the only one to have all his teeth, and, luckily, not be married to his sister! O yea!

So that brings me to his sister Berny! I guess jew wondering why I never mention her, well she likes WP, Jenson Button and Arsenal, need I say more?

In Currie Cup action this week WP got smacked one by the Cheetahs, just goes show WP are gay! O and the Lions won yet again, Blue Bulls be where ons is hier, bitch! So let’s move on to soccer, Man United carry on in their supremacy by yet again winning keeping the pressure on their rivals: Liverpool who got smacked 3-0 by Everton, and Arsenal who are lying in 17th position! O yea! As it turns out Portsmouth might indeed be our main rivals this year!

So this week I’d like to introduce a new feature in the Fat Eye, we shall call it The Fat Corner! This were the Fat Eye will include all the “fatlines” of the week! So without further a due, ladies and Navy seals, I present, for the first time THE FAT CORNER! Can I have a hell ya? O yea Duffman! Ok so let’s start, the first fatline goes to someone from our favourite team from the north the Blue Bulls! Joost van der Westhuizen was given the duty of presenting the trophy to the winner of the Freedom Trophy, I do believe? He however like a dumbass goes and gives to the Boks the winners on the night! But any sport fan will know that it’s played over two legs! He then tunes that he never got the “script”! Ya sure, I think he should stick to his day job, being Amor’s bitch!

This week the English cricket team called up fast bowler Graham Onions to replace Darren Gough! So when Onions heard he was called up to the national squad, apparently he cried! Onions! Furthermore The Fat Eye was requested to do some damage control on some incriminating evidence of Modman’s brother-in-law, allegedly moping the floor! As it turns out he were merely practising for the Curling World Championships and could not find a broom, so he used the mop, that’s all! So until next week lets all bring sexy back! O yea Duffman!

Ha haha, it's all gold. Well done Ferdi!