Only when I am drunk...

It seems that drinking makes me do really stupid things. Doh, no surprise there, I am sure a lot of you know what I am talking about. I have had my share of bad experiences, ranging from making an ape of myself by dancing on tables, hitting on guys I shouldn’t, throwing up at a bar, doing the haka and thinking I can sing any ABBA song. Yes, I have done them all, and more. Try as I might to block them out of my memory, they come back to haunt me now and again. And you’d think I would have learnt my lesson by now. Not in a million years. The thing is, it’s very funny while I am doing it, and I provide a lot of amusement for my friends. It is only the next day, when I reflect on the previous night’s activities, that I cringe with embarrassment and think, “Good lawd, did I do THAT??!!”

Last night was a good example. What was supposed to be just a normal Youth Meeting for us church youngsters, turned into a massive piss-up party. Yes, we drink at our church. We even have an annual beerfest, on our church grounds (and incidentally, I am in the organizing committee). So anyway, we were all playing volleyball at some our youth members’ place (our local hangout now), being blown away by a bitterly cold strong wind, when the keg arrived. By late afternoon, most of us were dronkgat. The highlight of the evening being Renate (our pastor’s oldest daughter) walking into the sliding doors. Painful as it was for her, it provided many tears and laughter for us. Thank you Renate.

After trying to play 30 seconds with a slur, and several glasses of wine, we needed alternative entertainment. Now here is a note of warning for everyone out there: if you dare me to do something, there is a 99.9% chance that I WILL do it, but only when I am drunk. So be careful what you dare me to do, especially if I am going to end up getting hurt.

Since the wine was finished, the boys proceeded to inflate the wine bag and draw a cross on it. Since I was in my element, I was the target for their devious dare: I had to put the bag on the floor, jump on the cross and pop the bag. Seemed simple enough to me so I went for it. First try, nothing happened. I wasn’t satisfied so I insisted on getting a second chance – I wish I hadn’t. This time I really went for it. As soon as both my feet landed on that bag, I went flying backwards, landing on my butt and hands – both of which are now extremely painful. Ingrid and Uli both dropped to the floor and rolled on it laughing hysterically. The boys couldn’t contain themselves either until out came one of the older guys telling us to keep quiet before the landlord came over to complain. That was enough to sober me up, there was no way I was going to get into kak for this.

And the evening did not end there, unfortunately. Most went to bed but the girls insisted on staying and talking till 5 a.m. I find my usual spot on a mattress on the floor next to my 19 year old body warmer and tried to sleep. But it was impossible. I arrived home at 5:30 this morning with a headache, a bump on my left butt cheek (which now matches the right cheek bump when I fell down the stairs, sober, at the gym last year), an extremely painful hand and several bruises on my knees which I can’t account for. There is just never a dull moment with me, is there? I wonder what next weekend holds in store for me!!