Lift Etiquette

I am one of those people that gets irritated quite easily, though I try to keep it under control. One of my pet peeves is people in, out, and around lifts. It’s amazing how idiotic and/or inconsiderate some people can be when they come near a lift. So now I have compiled my own set of guidelines on how to improve on your lift etiquette:

Press the button once. Repeatedly pressing/banging on it is not going to make the lift come any faster.
If you are going up one floor, or going down two floors, please take the damn stairs and stop wasting my time (actually, this is company policy here at work, but it’s amazing how many lazy people disregard that rule). Unless of course, you cannot take the stairs because of an injury/disability.
If you are waiting for a lift, when it eventually arrives, don’t suddenly make a run for it, wait till the people in the lift, if any, get out first.
Now, I am not a feminist, but usually, it’s common courtesy for men to let ladies in/out first. Shocking how many men forget this.
Don’t talk to me inside the lift, I am nervous of lifts as it is without having some psycho talk to me as if they have known me all my life.
If I come running and screaming for you to keep the lift door open for me, FREAKING DO IT!!! Don’t be rude and pretend you can’t hear me.
Don’t look in the mirror and pick your nose/fix your hair/smile like a goofball in the lift, there are toilets and nutty houses for that.

Hmmm, you can see I have a problem with lifts. Lately I have become a bit obsessed with this because our lifts are in serious need of replacing and that is only going to be completed by the end of the year. So there is a lot of disruption at the moment with lifts being placed out of order every now and then. Sometimes, when I am brave, I do take the stairs, but by the time I get to the fifth floor where my office is, I feel like I have run at 100km marathon. I have gotten stuck in a lift too, a whole five minutes. Sure, that’s not a long time, but when you are scared of small closed spaces like me, that seems more like five hours. May it never happen again.

PS. Have you ever been naughty in a lift? Lol.