The funeral

On Saturday I got up at 4am to travel for about four hours to Newcastle in KZN. That's Claudia's home town and that's where her funeral was held. On the way there I was in a sort of cheerful mood though I was really dreading this sad event. I have only ever been to one other funeral, and that was my other friend who also passed away from a brain hamorraghe. I try to avoid funerals as much as possible - I just hate emotional events like this, and what I hate the most, is crying in front of people. For me, that has always been a sign of weakness. But I had to make the exception here and attend her funeral.

We arrived at the church about 30 minutes before the funeral and already the place was packed with people from all over. I travelled with my pastor, Uli and Inki, and some of their friends. We met friends we hadn't seen in while there, it just sucked that it had to be in such kak circumstances.

Eventually the family and boyfriend arrived and we all gathered at the cemetery. It was just all too much for me. It really hit home that she was really gone when they put her down into the ground and threw mounds and mounds of soil on her. I held onto my friend and watched in horror as her coffin was completely covered.

We then moved onto the church for the service. It was already packed with people so I sat outside on the grass with my friends and stared into nothingness. A storm was about to break. It looked menacing and finally gave in just as the service ended. As we were about to have some tea and snacks (not that we were really hungry) at the hall, it started to hail, big ice blocks. I havent seen such a terrible storm in ages. The grounds were flooded in minutes. I thought to myself, it looks as if all the angels in heaven are crying.

As soon as the storm passed we got ready to leave. I hugged her mom and she assured me that she felt much stronger now. I struggled to fight back the tears. The drive back felt long but at least I got some closure now, and felt a bit better too. Needless to say, I felt like getting drunk that night, to be numb and feel nothing. And so I did.

I went with Berny, Marbro, Ferdi and co to play pool at Paddys. It was like apartheid as the girls played on one table, the boys on another, haha. We started off with tequila and then Smirnoff, but by the 4th (or was it 5th) drink I had to call it quits cause I was in no mood to get sick. I didnt win a single pool match but I had fun. It was a good distraction.