Blame it on Shadley or Frank whatshisface.

Two hours sleep. Two *&@#$&* hours sleep, Shadley! Im feeling like an Ugly Betty right now. I blame you, my emancipated son. Last night's starring role goes to you, and best supporting act to Frank (Sinatra) whatshisface *Michelle would you be so kind as to spell his surname for me, thanks*. If I survive today, it will be a freaking miracle. Shadley day buggered me up a whole lot more than Shaylin day did. Not that I didnt have fun last night though. I just feel like I have been hit by a freight train and being left to rot on the tracks. So let me try recount last night's events.

After another hard day's work, my team mates and I went up to the 18th floor auditorium for a cocktail dinner we were hosting here for some execs from another division. Mingling was tiresome and engaging conversation was lacking. I drank my SoCos mostly in silence while I wished this dinner would come to an end. The menu was rather interesting, so interesting I didnt know how to eat the food placed in front of me. In between all this, I was busy planning my getaway with Ferdi and Shadley. At 19h30 sharp Ferdi was to pick me up from work, then pick up Shadley and go to play pool at Ballbreakers.

Before I knew it, Ferdi was here and the crazy Shadley night was in full force. We picked up Shadley, I told him he smelled like a woman and ducked when he tried to give me a backhand (kidding, but he did smell like a woman). Michelle and friends were already waiting for us, and after a few wrong turns (Shadley only knows how to go left. He doesnt even know where he lives) we got to Ballbreakers.

The trick with pool is that the more I drink, the better I get at this game, so it didnt take long for me to get in the groove (clearly, I drink like a fish. Wait, do fishes drink? Ah, next poll question!!). OK, Im getting sidetracked - I blame Shadley (TWO f'ing hours sleep!!!). I think I must have won about 2 games in the end, but we had tons of fun and a barrel of laughs - good for the belly.

Im not too sure what time we left, but the night was definitely not over. While Michelle dropped her friends off, we went to Shadleys and sat outside, in the rain and waited. Security drove past us several times, but didnt think we were suspicious enough (we should work on this). I passed out in the backseat for a bit, but when I realised that the boys had gone inside to get drinks and left me there all alone, I quickly sat up and forced myself to wake up. It was getting later and later and I had the munchies. But where do you find food at 1am???

Michelle soon got there and eventually we decided to go on a Great Trek to find food. It was like Mission Impossible (haha! flashback! Mich will get this one): McDs was closed (no shit, hey), even Fontanas. Eventually we found a garage and raided their food store. Thats when Frank showed up. Mich and I stayed in the car and locked the doors while Ferdi and Shad conversed with this weirdo. Apparently he needed money for petrol or something. After 5 minutes of my life gone, wasted, Ferdi gave him R20 so he could bugger off and we could finally get some food. Not that there was much. Damn Fat Ferdi got the last and only pie, I got some stale croissant. I vaguely recall Shad got some smarties and other random kak. Then off we went back to Shads, said our goodbyes and buggered off home.

Somewhere along the line mommy had phoned wanting to know when her babies were coming home. Poor old woman. I think we called Shaylin too but I just cant remember now. Oh no, wait, that was Shadley. I was just shouting obscenities in the background.

Ferdi and I got home at 3am. 3am! That meant I had less than 2 hours of shut-eye left and guaranteed grumpiness. It felt like as soon as I closed my eyes, my alarm went off. I dont know how I did it, but I got up immediately, forced myself to throw up and lay in the bath for eternity. I feel green, my hands are shaking and I am not sure if I will live to see tomorrow. Its one of those ugly days, when I feel revolting and dont want to be seen by human-kind. Yet here I am, ready for another hard day's work. Shadley, my boy, you are a legend. Despite all the torture Im facing today, last night was hilarious, and would gladly do it again. The pain is worth it.

Just call me Bettyyyyy. Wee-o wee-o wee-o wee-o wee-o wee-o wee-o.